JACKSONVILLE (UP) – In an unprecedented legal maneuver, a Florida man is filing for divorce.
The kicker: He’s a widower who has no spouse.
Edward G. Edward, 60, says he is making the move as a “pre-emptive strike” against future women who might shun him in the manner that he has been shunned for most of this past year.
Edward says that, nearly a year after his wife of 30 years died, he examined the possibility of rejoining the dating scene. He tried everything from asking women he knew personally to applying to on-line dating sites. But no matter how tactfully he tried to pursue his potential suitors, he was always turned down flat.
The most telling turn-down, Edward says, was a woman who recently told him that she “didn’t think of him that way.”
“They never think of me ‘that way,'” says Edward. “Women say things like, “Gosh, I wish I could find a man who wasn’t in it just for a hook-up, who respected me and treated me like a human being. I’d love to date anyone like that.'” Edward gestured to himself and said, “And then they point at me and say, ‘Anyone but him.'”
Edward said that, after a number of similar rejections, he came up with the one-sided divorce decree “to salve my bruised ego. I’ll carry a copy of it with me at all times. Then if, by some miracle, a woman starts to show any sort of interest in me, I can hand her the paper and confidently state, ‘Sorry, honey, we just couldn’t make it work. I’ve already divorced us.'”
Local legal firms have applauded the concept and have stated they expect it to take off nationwide. Andy Farer of law firm Farer and Porer says he is positioning his staff to offer the decrees at all local speed-dating sites.
Edward says he didn’t expect to start a trend but welcomes anyone who wants to follow in his path. “It’s time,” he says, “to give the outcasts of the world their opportunity to stand up and say, ‘You know, you’re just not my type.”
So, would you like to know how technologically inept I am?
One weekend in Feb. 2019, my computer had an Internet connection, but I couldn’t get anything to come up on my computer screen. As is the way of all non-savvy computer nerds, I quickly deduced that the best way to get everything going again on my screen was to purge everything I could think of. By mistake, that included the user ID and password of my WordPress account.
When I tried to get back into my WordPress account, WordPress asked me for my user ID and password. I had forgotten my password long ago (I only use a few thousand of them), and the user ID was an email account that I had deleted long ago after it got hacked. WordPress informed me that, unless I could send them an email message from my user ID’s account, they would not be able to send me a new password, and therefore, I would be locked out of my own account.
And so it went. My access to four-and-a-half years of blogging and several hundred blog subscribers were suddenly locked behind bars. (I imagined hearing a loud “cha-ching!” from the TV series “Law & Order.”)
So I’ve decided to try and make lemonade out of my WordPress lemons. I am resuming my blogging career on this “sequel” blog.
Of course, I still have a “history” of previous blogging that I’d like to reference on occasion. So be forewarned that now, I will often hyperlink to my previous blog. For example, if I’m writing about Charlie Chaplin, and I want to reference a Chaplin movie review from my old blog, I will link to it like this. So please note that, obviously, if you go to that hyperlink, you will have to press the “Back” button on your computer keyboard in order to return to this “sequel” blog.
If, by chance, you know anyone who followed my previous blog but is not aware of my current situation, please let them know so that I can restore some of my old readership. And of course, please feel free to return to and reference my previous blog, whose URL is listed on the masthead of this blog.
Thank you for bearing with me through a quite troublesome situation.
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